I guess you all might have seen that AIB video Honest Engineering placements? Do you know why we all relate to that?
It’s because it’s the life story of every engineer. Correction, every Indian engineer.
Aaah! That’s the pressing vein. Engineering!
There is no other thing in the world like being an engineer. Add ‘Indian’ before it. Now there are only one species of a kind in this universe i.e. Indian engineers. This species has dedicated their entire lives to something even they aren’t aware of.
They are found everywhere doing almost anything. By the way, let me order a cup of coffee.
Ramu, bring two cups of coffee!
One coffee ☕ is for me. One ☕ for you. You might be tired of reading this.
By the way, meet Ramu. He makes delicious coffee ☕. He also polishes shoes on the railway station. He also has reserved his space outside the Haji Ali dargah. Ramu is an engineer.
“I make more money at Haji Ali Dargah, then working 9-5 at Info-piss or Goo-girl. I am also planning my night shifts at Siddhivinayak temple, so I can earn more. I am ambitious.” – Ramu
Well jokes apart, that is going to be a reality soon. In fact, there have been cases where beggars have more assets than today’s Indian engineers. It is not degrading anything, but the fact is a fact.
India has only won 7 Olympic gold medals from 1936-2016. China won 100 medals in Beijing 2008 alone. But there’s one thing that we do better than China. We produce engineers like herds of sheep.
Say, for example, Mumbai University alone has 1 million engineers passing out every year. But only 10% get any real jobs. The remaining chunk becomes our Ramu.
That’s why we all relate to that AIB video because at some point we relate to that monologue given by the actor. BTW check the video Here.
Now since the topic is out to open for grabs, let me add how the life of an Indian engineer typically is. Well, this is inclusive of all Indian engineers. Be it the famed IITs or any village-side engineering colleges. Though the level of education imparted in both places are poles apart, both have a common theme: they churn out engineers like cattle.
Reminds me of Farhan’s dialogue in 3 idiots. “Mere beta engineer Banega (My son will be an engineer)” was stamped on the first breath of the toddler.
Now the toddler won’t ask for any milk, just make him drink sulphuric acid. After all, he can be a chemical engineer!
Don’t you think it is plain madness?
Students as early as seventh grade are preparing for IIT-JEE and are told to adjust to their future lives in Kota. A small joke out there:
Ajmal Kasab said, “I killed many people.”
Bin Laden said, “Bitch please.”
Kota just smiled from distance.
After all, why do you want to be an engineer in the first place?
Just to be an engineer so that on 25th anniversary of your parents, so you can sing “papa kehte hai bada naam karega” and your parents can be proud of you. But make no mistake, they will be proud only until Sharmaji’s son shows up.
Or being an engineer you may get a really good wife. Or to say, your price will go sky-high in the groom-selling market. Get whatever dowry you demand. Sirf muh kholo samdhiji, ladka to aakhir engineer hai! (Just say a word for dowry, the boy is an engineer)
Well, that is the major purpose of doing engineering in India, isn’t it? Get ready to be in the rat race, before you can spell the word ‘rat.’
No beta, look at Guddu. He spells it so well. Why can’t you do that?
These Guddus are an alternative to Sharmaji’s sons. If everyone despises Sharmaji’s Son, why don’t all engineers conspire and just kill him? It will be a good riddance. Well, that can be written in some other blog post.
There are so many subtexts and connotations attached to being an Indian engineer. We have the critical mass of being an engineer. If you can’t be anything, you can definitely be an engineer.
Good at studies? It’s a mistake.
Good at Maths? Bigger Mistake.
Now be an engineer. Why still make mistakes? It’s time to sin now!
“Ramu, coffee was delicious!”
“Chalo, paise nikaalo coffee ke!”
“Bhai, engineer hai tu! Mera dard samajh.”
I don’t mind Ramu calling me a chuitya. In fact, I take it with pride. Ramu earns a lot. Much more than the 9-5 slavery of engineers. It’s a form of bonded labor.
In fact, there is a saying that engineers are being terminated if there blood platelets and depression is normal. Because they aren’t giving their best to the company.
There has to be mental pressure, hypertension, cardiovascular disorders. If you are hale and hearty, you are not doing your job well.
This is Indian engineering! Yes Engineer Bhai logs, this is it.
There are many numbers of possibilities that can come up with being an Indian engineer. If you can remind anything, please do let us know.